weaponizedplacebo:

at some point you’ve got to STOP reading the entrails and go out and LIVE that which was portented by them, because you WILL run out of doves

(Source: jitterati, via goblinparty)

passiveskills:

i’m bisexual and stupid. that’s all i am. god looked at my shitty tiny frame and said, “you’re going to be a little bisexual moron” then released me into the world.

(via goblinparty)

mesopelagic:

mesopelagic:

you ever go fuck it and slap your own ass

not in a horny way more like a cowboy slapping his horses hindquarters to jostle it along but in this scenario you are both horse and rider combined into one vaguely stressed and very fast creature

(via goblinparty)

Anonymous asked: Ideal number of teeth?

trombonechurchill:

setheverman:

as many as i can get my hands on

evilsupplyco:

Area necromancer discovers inexpensive way to raise the dead. Paladins hate her!

(Source: evilsupplyco, via evilsupplyco)

lonely-mothman:

i DO have blood and I do have ALL of MY bones and I didnt take them from anyone I grew them myself so stop asking

(Source: crackhead-majima, via goblinparty)

chambergambit:

Fortune Teller reading my palm: It just says “yikes.”

(via goblinparty)